Pandorus II

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Pandorus II

Mommy Guy
Administrator
Thought I'd post the story for P2 to see what you think.
Here's a reminder of Pandorus's story:
Zan builds the Mechanolith, Raka is hired to stop him and flies an airship towards it, but the Mechanolith attacks the airship and it goes crashing down. Raka wakes up in a forest and later learns from Eliza thst they're in Kaizahn, the enemy of their country of Paluma. They escape through the barrier wall, find the Mechanolith and destroy it. At the end Zan reveals that he was trying to help but the Mechanolith malfunctioned. Raka tries to save him but he falls to his death before he can explain everything.

PANDORUS II-

Warning: It gets a bit confusing.

Liré is training to be a Knight, but in the middle of a class something attacks the village. Later the mayor of the province grants him Knighthood and asks him to track down what attacked the village, saying it was another Mechanolith. The Mayor thinks Kaizahn were inspired by Zan's robot and built their own to attack Paluma. Liré goes to Kaizahn and while asking at local marketplace discovers Zan, who takes him to his hideout and reveals dozens of Mechanoliths. He tells him he's building an army to fight a greater evil that will arise in the future. He tells him that only one remains to be built but he needs one part, a giant cog. Liré goes to the ocean where the original Mechanolith is dead and retrieves a cog. Eliza finds him and asks what he's doing, and he explains to her. She doesn't believe Zan's explanation and tries to fight Liré to stop him, but loses. Liré takes the cog back to Zan and he finishes the Mechanolith moments before Raka and a wounded Eliza come to stop them. Eliza tries to kill Zan but Raka stops her, wondering how he's still alive but Zan doesn't know what he's talking about. Eliza sets off an explosive that destroys most of the Mechanoliths. Zan is enraged, and quickly grabs Liré befire dissapearing. They appear in a strange dimension, with a big light in front of them. Zan explains that it is the goddess, who will allow him to time travel using a certain spell. Although he can only time travel once and anything after that requires a small sacrifice. In order to bring Liré back to before the other Mechanolith was destroyed he sacrifices his arm. Once back in time, Zan goes to his labrotory and meets a Younger Zan, who builds him a new robotic arm. Zan warns him about the evil arising and Young Zan reveals that he was working on a a secret project, a giant controllable robot for doing heavy lifting and construction, and that he can rewire it to be a combat robot to fight the evil. It escapes however, and Zan chases after it saying it was his fault. This leads into PANDORUS and eventually Zan dies, leaving Young Zan with Liré. END.
Everybody get up it's time to slam now
 We got a real jam goin' down
 Welcome to the Space Jam
 Here's your chance do your dance at the Space Jam

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Re: Pandorus II

Illyria
Administrator
Sounds nifty, and it wasn't very confusing at all, though there was a little bit of backtracking needed at the end.

By the way, I may have just started VERY minimal, VERY early development on your birthday present. If I go with this possible concept, it will BLOW YOUR MIND.
Donna: What happened? Do you want to talk about it? I have ice cream!

Harvey: It's 8.A.M.

Donna: Which is why God made Chunky Monkey. It has chocolate and bananas. Bananas are part of a healthy breakfast. And who cares about bananas? It has chocolate!...Okay, you caught me: I don't even eat the bananas.

--Donna and Harvey, "Suits".
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Re: Pandorus II

Mommy Guy
Administrator
whee
Everybody get up it's time to slam now
 We got a real jam goin' down
 Welcome to the Space Jam
 Here's your chance do your dance at the Space Jam