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Monster Alias Transcript
— by Illyria Illyria
In the prologue, Byron Undersee meets with a Mr. Shan and blackmails him into giving him the rights to a toyline based on an upcoming video-game, Monster Alias. He then goes to his company and orders his scientist Kishimoto to put an illusion chip in the gauntlet toys, because reasons.

Three months later, Daniel 'Akai' Rogers receives a gauntlet set from the game for his birthday and shares them with his friends Steve, Barney, and Carly 'Blu' Valentine, Barney's girlfriend. However, the gauntlets turn the children into monsters: Akai becomes Pyro Dragon, Steve is Turbo Dinosaur, Barney gets Kana Eel, and Blu becomes Lady Shadow. No one investigates this non-advertised and clearly dangerous developments.

The toys sell out, and Undersee Corp. opt to hold a tournament. Akai and his friends reach the finals (damn, wish we could've seen some previous battles) and travel to the Corporation's skyscraper where they meet a fellow competitor, Dallas Kane. It is revealed to the reader Dallas is a spy for Byron, who fears that the children who first discovered the toys know of his hidden agenda for some completely unfounded reason.

The next day, Akai begins to battle Dallas. When Blu, Steve and Barney try to take the elevator down to watch him, it gets stuck, and Blu finds one of Undersee's men cutting the chord. Barney morphs into Kana Eel and slides through the door, saving them. They, of course, decide not to do anything or even think about how they were almost murdered.

Meanwhile, Akai is defeated when Dallas performs a foul move. Blu offers to fight her in exchange for Akai staying in the tournament. Blu wins, saving Akai's place. Undersee rages at Dallas for failing, revealing she is his daughter in the process, but refuses to accept her.

Soon after, the night of the Finalists Party at Undersee's mansion, Akai and Steve accidentally find themselves in the basement of the skyscraper, only to find Dallas with a special clearance card who swiftly kicks Akai out. However, Steve disappears down in the basement. Akai shares his fears for Steve's safety with Barney on the way to the party, but he brushes them off. Akai meets Undersee, who soon runs off to talk to Dallas. Blu then shows up in an extravagant black dress, making Akai realise his feelings for her (i.e. boner). Running off in confusion, he stumbles across Undersee discussing his worries about his "plans" with Dallas while she says she thinks Akai and his friends don't know them, Undersee disowning her in anger. Akai then runs off to find Steve, but is found by Blu, who expresses confusion over her feelings for him before impulsively kissing him. Undersee watches from afar, telling one of his men they thought Steve was his weak spot, but it was really Blu, and orders him to kidnap her too (don't want to be found out for illegal activities involving shapeshifting! Better kidnap some kids!)

The next morning, Barney punches Akai after discovering his kiss with Blu. Soon after, Akai is ordered to the roof by an anonymous caller and, since everyone here is batshit insane, he goes. After arriving, he finds Undersee holding Blu hostage, dangling her over the street (not at all discreet), and orders Akai to fight three of his men in monster form. While Akai fights, Blu is saved by Dallas. When Undersee sees Blu gone, Akai uses it as a distraction to flee his men. Outside the building, Dallas gets Blu in a car and drives away, only able to save her. Akai arrives in the basement to find Steve, only to see there are dozens of doors to search, and time is running out as Undersee's men follow him...

At the start of volume two, Akai saves Steve and they manage to escape the basement after talking with another finalist, Lyra, through a vent. The three meet with Barney but are found by security and chased through the building into the battle arena, where a girl named Kaira is battling. In all the confusion, Akai, Steve, Barney, Lyra and Kaira are forced to flee (Kaira and Lyra are both literally useless from here-on-out).

I forget how, but those dudes meet with Blu and Dallas and decide to go to a small farm owned by Undersee to hide out.

After arriving at Undersee Farm, Barney's gauntlet begins flashing, and they find a tracking device. The farm is stormed by Undersee Troops (?) and helicopters. Barney is captured while Akai, Blu, Dallas and Lyra are separated from Steve and Kaira. As they escape, Blu and Lyra are captured by the helicopter.

While Steve and Kaira escape to the streets, Akai and Dallas flee to an old railway station where they are caught under fire. They escape via train, but not before a soldier catches a glimpse of Dallas' face.

Blu and Lyra are taken to an Undersee scientific facility and held as prisoners while Akai and Dallas arrive in Van Dyne City, Akai's home town. Worried his parents are being watched, he goes to his teacher's, who immediately calls the police on him. As they escape, Akai sees wanted posters for himself and his friends for apparently kidnapping Dallas and Kaira. Dallas is called by her father and Undersee, mistaking her a kidnap victim, offers a trade: Dallas and Kaira's safety with Akai's arrest in exchange for Blu, Barney and Lyra release.

Akai and Dallas meet with Steve and Kaira. They go to the Van Dyne City bridge to rendezvous with Undersee. As they are making the exchange, Undersee detonates a device put into 76 gauntlets, causing the owners to mutate into grotesque versions of their monsters. Fifty are Undersee employees, twenty-five are random civilians and one is Barney, who turns into a giant rampaging snake (sorry: eel).

As war rages on the bridge, Akai struggles to find Blu and Undersee looks for Dallas. Undersee finds Dallas, re-kidnaps Blu (I meant for Blu to be a strong female heroine, but this is like the third time she's been kidnapped...) and detonates a bomb under the bridge, blowing it apart (what the actual fuck?) and knocking Barney, Steve, Lyra, Kaira and all his agents into the water in the process. Akai chases Undersee to his skyscraper and through his research lab. He traps Blu in an experiment chamber and locks Dallas in his office while he changes into his monster form, the Murderous Demon (...) and fights Pyro Dragon. Dallas is freed when the office is destroyed during the fight. As Undersee is about to stab Akai with a huge broken piece of wood, Dallas runs in front of him, getting stabbed fatally in the chest(/boobs). Undersee flees to the roof in rage and grief.

As Dallas dies, she tells Akai her real name and promises to blow up the building (HOW?). Akai morphs into Pyro Dragon and destroys the chamber, freeing Blu. They fly away, narrowly escaping Undersee, as Dallas blows up the building, killing herself and Undersee.

A few days later, Akai, Blu, Steve, Kaira and Lyra meet at a murky beach, with Barney now stuck in his regular Kana Eel form. Unable to fix it, they release him into the sea, because reasons. Then they fuck off and leave him.

In a final scene, an unseen figure is seen to have several of the humans stuck in monster form from the bridge in tanks for experimentation, claiming Undersee - and Alias - were just the beginning.

Try and make as much fucking sense of this as you can.
Donna: What happened? Do you want to talk about it? I have ice cream!

Harvey: It's 8.A.M.

Donna: Which is why God made Chunky Monkey. It has chocolate and bananas. Bananas are part of a healthy breakfast. And who cares about bananas? It has chocolate!...Okay, you caught me: I don't even eat the bananas.

--Donna and Harvey, "Suits".